In Which I Go to an Etsy Psychic

I read this article a few months ago and it opened me up to a whole new world, the world of Etsy Psychics. Technically against the terms of service (maybe? apparently? it’s confusing.) Etsy psychics promise to tell your future without a single word spoken aloud between the two of you.

I’ve talked about my interest in Spiritualism and modern psychic mediumship kind of spills over into that interest. So I went ahead and got a Tarot reading from a very nice Etsy store. I am torn between linking and not linking to them- on the business end of things they were great and I wish them all the success in the world doing their thing, but I’m also kind of, well… irreverent about the whole thing. If reading this post inspires you to visit your own Etsy psychic, let me know and I’ll give you a recommendation!

It was only $3 for a three card reading, which is why I just went with it. Below are the thoughts I typed up as I was going through the initial .pdf I received.

I feel a surprising amount of apprehension before opening the pdf. I don’t know why. I don’t take this stuff seriously and now, suddenly, I think “what if I don’t like what it says.” Am I worried that it will just say “neener-neener you’re a sucker?” I kept my question fairly simple so it’s not anything earth shattering should be contained within. Who knows.

Here goes. For science.

Card: 7 of Swords

Paraphrased explanation: Don’t be fucking passive-aggressive

Thoughts: There is nothing passive about my aggression. Literally sits and pouts. Who’s a big, dumb, Taurus. Me, I’m a big, dumb Taurus!

Card: 3 of Cups

Paraphrased Explanation: Potential reunion with a lost love

Thoughts: Well, I am seeing some of my very best friends in about a week. No lost romantic love there, but it has been a year since I’ve seen some of these friends… Speaking romantically, I have no lost loves. [Update: hanging out with friends in a fav city playing boardgames and drinking wine. If you want to count that as “lost loves” then this was accurate. Otherwise, nah.].

Card: 9 of Cups (reversed)

Paraphrased Explanation: Things are on the up and up

Thoughts: Damn that ghost lady has some knockers.

Thoughts on the whole experience: I’d do it again if I was bored with some spare money. I’d be interested to try some of the other types of psychic stuff that’s out there on Etsy