What She Order? Crippling Self-Doubt and a Hailstorm of Deadlines! (That Shit Cray)

Oh Kanye, I take comfort in knowing I’m not the worst thing to happen to you- I’ve seen your fashion line. And I’m not apologizing to Jay-Z either, dude’s married to Beyonce, some lyrical butchering in a blog title is nothing.

So, where we at?

Finals for my second term of grad school have just begin. Last term they were cumulative projects, this term they are (both) specific take-home exams that I have a week to complete.

I am applying for a fancy new job. I love current job and in the grand scheme of things I am not actively job searching- however this is an opportunity to really advance myself and I can’t pass on it. There is not a hard deadline for applications, but I want to have my cover letter finished and polished by this weekend so that I can send my documents out into the world and stop stressing about it stress about it in a completely different fashion. Fortunately my resume is up-to-date from applying to grad school! I take comfort in knowing that if I don’t get the job I could continue to come to my current job and fulfill my tasks happily (if not without some disappointment) but new job is in a geographic location Manbeast and I both prefer and closer to some very important people to us.

Our lease ends at the end of April. The job I am applying for is in a different state and wouldn’t start til June/July. We didn’t really want to stay at our own place. One option is to move back in with my parents for a few months- they are in the process of moving themselves. Another is to start looking for a new place and hope we find out if I’m a finalist/have the position sooner rather than later. Or we can ask to extend our lease a few months, though we suspect that might go over better if we say “extend while I wait on this job, and if I don’t get it we will renew.” But do we really want to renew? We certainly don’t want to freeze and be poor again all winter! I know home ownership is fraught with its own set of challenges, issues, and expenses, but I truly want to be in a place where I don’t have to deal with the panic and worry of “do we want a new place and what happens if we can’t find an acceptable one by the time we need it?”

I’m poor. I’m maid of honor at my friend’s wedding in October, our electric bill is absurd (we have electric heat and utilities, and the power company our apartment uses raised rates by 40% for the winter). I don’t have the money to throw at things to review, even though there are a ton of items I want to try. I’ve been signing up for programs that offer samples for reviews, but outside of Blogging for Books haven’t had much success. I have a really small audience here, and while I’m trying to expand it brands just don’t seem that interested in helping a start-up. Of course, our electric rates should drop at the end of the month, and we’ll be able to turn our heat off, and that should make an incredible difference in our finances and open up the possibility to me purchasing some items for review! I also have some leftovers from Christmas (ugggh) that I can talk about, but surviving finals is hands down my primary goal right now. If you want to send me something, please contact me at irreverent.internet (at) gmail!

I like this blog and love writing in it, and I don’t like going long stretches without posting, but it looks like life’s going. Please send good thoughts my way for finals and this job (and figuring out our living situation!).

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