Irreverent Reviews: OPI Matte Top Coat

A couple of exciting things happening! First, this is being composed on my new computer! Getting used to the Windows 8 and all the new buttons has a bit of a learning curve but it’s incredible being able to type on a responsive keyboard!

Also, I set up a Twitter account specifically for this blog. It won’t be a hopping place but should hopefully allow for more interaction and whatnot. Building my audience, ya know? Follow me @IrrevInternet

I found the link for this on Pinterest and absolutely loved the look. While 13.99 is certainly a deal on two bottles of OPI polish, I really have no clue how selling two bottles of brand name nail polish gets away with having an etsy shop. You want to do tutorial instructions, start a blog or something. Still, that picture-as-a-pin got me all fired up to buy OPI’s Matte Topcoat and Yoga-ta Get this Blue. I’ve done a couple matte mani’s since getting the supplies (as ways to tide me over in my never ending, never successful quest to find I Have a Herring Problem), but today I decided to attempt them over several different shades of polish.

After one coat

After one coat of regular polish

From left to right: Sinful Colors Sage Rose, OPI I Don’t Give a Rotterdam!, OPI Amazon Amaz-off, and OPI Yoga-ta Get This Blue. Above is one coat of color, no top coat, and no base coat either (I have never used one).

Coat two

Coat two

Not all the colors needed a second coat but I gave them all one for consistency. All the colors dry pretty quickly.

Ok so after they dry you just slap the matte top coat on like a regular top coat! And it will look regular at first, it applies clear but dries matte, so you’ll have to wait a moment for the results, then you’ll be able to see if you’ve missed any spots.

Matte'd

Matte’d

The difference is noticeable in person so I hope it translates OK in these pictures. Rotterdam, which is a nice color on it’s own, ends up looking really dull and muddy when Matte’d. Amazon and Yoga-ta matte up very nicely into smooth, rich version of their original colors. Sage Rose was kind of the wild card, being by a different brand. It is less shimmery and has lost its duochrome but still has far more shimmer and reflectivity than the other three colors.

So all these were done today and the question is: how do they last? I have only used the blue with the matte topcoat and I am unimpressed with its lasting power. On its own and with the matte top coat I usually see wear by the next day, if not within several hours- even though I do not really do that much with my nails. The other three colors have shown impressive (several days) lasting power, either on their own or with a formula X top coat.

Aesthetically I love the way the matte top coat looks, I’m just not super thrilled with its lasting power, though maybe the problem is the blue and not the top coat? I’ll know tomorrow. Still, if the look appeals to you, I suggest waiting til Ulta has a decent OPI sale and then checking it out.

On a related note, I’ll just leave this here: Man Tries to Guess Nail Polish Names (with about as much success as I’d have)

Cauli-failure

This is almost a “very pinteresting” but it doesn’t quite make the cut, because I didn’t really discover the cauliflower pizza crust.

The new year has brought the newly-passionate health addicts to my news feed. “Clean eating” “vegan” “Forks over knives” (like these people have never had to slice up an apple before) and other such hashtags have sprung up like the flowers other parts of the country are probably getting. In addition to all those hashtags there’s a lot of soup, a lot of yoga poses, and a lot of post work-out selfies. I’ve never felt so betrayed by the oversharing tech age as I do now. Apparently there are even multi-level management companies where the product is you as a fitness trainer! Oh 2015, you’re shaping up to be a doozy.

But I don’t hate healthy food, and I love cooking new foods, so when a friend posted a pizza made with a cauliflower crust, Manbeast and I thought it might be a fun way to mix things up and I set about trying to find a recipe. I mostly followed this one from Allrecipes.

Almost all the recipes I came across asked for two things I don’t have: a food processor and cheesecloth. I’ve been trying to find a food processor for years, but they are not frequently found in thrift stores (apparently) and I can’t afford new. A few said that it was possible to use a blender. Well, I threw the raw cauliflower florets in my blender and burned out the motor (and filled our kitchen with smoke, all in under ten seconds). So I used my hand-crank cheese grater to make the rest, then steamed it for about ten minutes, then I barely let it cool (certainly not the recommended 15 minutes) and mixed the egg, cheese, pepper, garlic, and salt in (I forgot the parsley). Many of the recipes have to draining the excess water from the cauliflower with a cheese cloth. I pounded out my mixture onto my parchment paper/baking sheet and then just dabbed at it with a paper towel. This is probably why it was pretty soft in the middle… not like uncooked, just not firm. Like, when you picked it up like a regular pizza slice, it stayed together but it drooped.

It did taste good, I didn’t use any sauce (forgot) but put cheese, pepperoni, and olives on top. Manbeast adored it. I ate one small slice and said “I really just can’t handle looking at this anymore” and left to go eat a Cadbury creme egg (#seasonaleating #itsaprotein).

wpid-20150219_193620.jpg

The cost of a head of cauliflower is about the same as a store brand frozen pizza. Granted I do get two meals out of the cauliflower, I’ll just steam the other half tonight with dinner, but when you also factor in the two hour prep time… It was not good enough to be worth the effort.

THAT SAID: If I were to do this again, I would cut my florets, steam the cauliflower til it was very soft, and then mash it. I’d make more of an effort to get the extra moisture out too. Manbeast liked this enough that I think it is worth trying again.

I would also like a food processor.

Thanks, Obama

Guys.

Guys.

My tax return this year.

For starters it EXISTS which is a nice change from the past couple of years. That it exists to the tune of OVER ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS is a nice change from my ENTIRE WORKING LIFE ( and I got my first job at 16). So while I’ve got some debt to knock off one of my main goals is going to be to buy a new computer with my refund money. According to the government’s refund tracking site it should be arriving this week so it’s just a matter of picking what I want and getting it.

I can’t promise this will increase the number of posts I end up making, I’m still incredibly busy with school and am interviewing for a bartending job today. It will absolutely make it easier and less frustrating to make posts (and do anything and everything else I use a computer to do).

So I’m pretty excited for this. Yay functional technology!

Eye Pimples?

No matter what you do, DO NOT Google the title of this post. Please, learn from my mistakes.

The bright side is that no matter what is actually wrong with me, I look way better than all those poor Google images people.

I woke up the other morning with Five small, red bumps right under my lower lash line. Four in a cluster towards the center and one closer to my tear duct. They don’t hurt but they sure make my right eye look weepy and puffy.

The obvious answer to how they got there (if not what they are… they might still be pimples but they aren’t the horrific pus-goblins lurking behind a Google image search) is “product reaction” or “dirty brushes” except I’ve been exhausted and dealing with snow and also lazy and haven’t used a single makeup product since last Thursday! This seems like a weird thing to have a slow burn reaction on.

I also lost the nosepad off my glasses, so apparently it’s a bad time to be associated with my face.

So I don’t know what I’m going to do about my weird pimple/rash but any suggestions are welcome. I’m not comfortable putting anything I’d use for regular pimples or a rash that close to my eyeball.