#WhyIStayed

I wanted to prove the naysayers wrong

It didn’t start out bad, maybe we just needed work to recapture what we once had

I wasn’t going to quit on a relationship just because things got hard!

It couldn’t be that bad, we’d made it work for a year, then two, then three

Because no one would want me after what I’d been through, because I was too damaged to be worth anyone else’s time

 

#WhyILeft? I didn’t. He left me. Insult to injury.

 

As unlikely as it is I hope that the Rice situation was an isolated incident caught on camera, and that Janay is staying because things are working between them and not out of fear or financial inability or because she feels to have something to prove. Her reasons are her own, but they are also the same as hundreds-if not thousands-of women who have stayed in abusive relationships. And while movements like the #WhyIStayed hashtag are incredible platforms for people who are often silenced, you, the public, are not owed our reasons for lingering in bad relationships. Because in the grand scheme of things, the “why did you stays” and the “why didn’t you press charges” are the “what were you wearings” of domestic abuse- irrelevant to the fact of the matter.

I wish I had some bigger, better thing to say, a solution to this problem that is so personal. Don’t ask why someone stayed, ask how we as a society failed.

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