In the midst of grumpily re-writing the post that was partially consumed by the internets (Slow going because of my raaaage at losing something I was so diligent about saving), I received some bad news.
Last Thursday morning my grandmother passed away. Her funeral will be almost exactly a month from my grandfather’s.
So I am raw, and exhausted, and have to write another eulogy and I barely have the stamina to get up and go to work, let alone maintain anything.
There’s a crushing sense of sadness and regret, the last time I saw/spoke to her was my grandfather’s funeral and I regret that I didn’t call more often, and I regret that I threw away the steering wheel cover my grandparents bought me because even though it was six years old and gross/falling apart they can never buy me a new one. And Manbeast and I thought they were doing well enough that we decided to sit back and not add the stress of planning a wedding or wedding-like thing this year but we clearly blew that one. All my rational thoughts about death and my rational knowledge about their failing health is not making this easier.
I guess if we’re going to be completely honest, I’m not really handling any of this well. I have a good support system. BFF is always a solid rock of a human and Manbeast is making sure I’m supplementing my croutons (inexplicably the only thing I want to eat) with fluids and the occasional non-crouton.
So that said… I know I’ve gone long breaks without updating, I know I’m under no contracts or obligations or whatever… I know I don’t even have that many readers! But I need to shelve some things til I’m back up to par. I will try to finish rewriting my post, and I will complete a mandated review of the Hawaiian Tropic After Sun Lotion I received in my VoxBox after I try it out this weekend (my first foray into the sun since the wedding on the 20th), but that’s gonna be it for awhile. When I’m sitting around watching Netflix I’m not going to allow myself to think “but I should be blogging!!” because nope. I’m going on hiatus, or blog vacation, or whatever you want to call it. I’ll be back to my regularly scheduled inconsistency by September.
Stay cool, stay hydrated, stay moisturized.