How My Inflexible Ideaology Cheats Me Out Of Heart Shaped Chocolates

I am One of Those Women.

I hate Valentines Day.

I’ve found that statement is usually followed by a rant about being single, which I’m decidedly not. I have actually spent most of my Valentines Days in relationships (even if those relationships have been long distance ones). This is actually the first year that Partner and I will get to be together for the holiday, but it’s our third holiday together.

It seems ever so trite to say, but my problems with the holiday are related to the ‘Hallmark” nature of it. It feels like a manufactured holiday in a way none of our other manufactured holidays do. It is the ultimate manufactured holiday, and I think it builds expectations that hurt relationships. I also think it downplays the importance of day-to-day niceties in favor of one grand romantic gesture one time of the year. And then there’s the fact that it’s supposed to be a holiday about couples and romance, but it’s clearly geared towards having men buying things for women.

At least in South Korea they have special days where both genders are supposed to buy stuff.

I don’t like the idea that my partner is a bad partner if he doesn’t buy me a card, and chocolates, and overpriced out-of-season flowers one day of the year. I love getting chocolate, I love getting flowers. Get them for me at any random time and don’t pay a holiday markup for them.

If you can’t show me that you love me February 13th and February 15th, why should you do it on the 14th?

But… then my conflicting emotions come in. Because, like I said, I love chocolate. And working in a bakery has actually given me a love of Valentines Day because even though I don’t want to celebrate it, I absolutely love all the adorable things being made in honor of the holiday!

I ordered a cake for the holiday, because Partner and I like cake. There will be no cards, or fancy presents. The cake will be decorated with two kissing gouramis, the symbol of fish love that is actually male fish settling conflicts by locking lips.

I’ll get all my heart-shaped chocolate on the 15th, and I’ll buy it myself.


Kudos to You, 30 Rock

Tina Fey’s show ’30 Rock’ often fell flat to me, I watched it, I sometimes enjoyed it, but mostly I just felt “meh.” The show is over now, and I was really unimpressed by the finale, and by Ben and Jerry’s choice of commemorative flavor. That said, I give credit where credit is due: The wedding of Liz and Cris and its shutdown of the Wedding Industrial Complex, having an openly feminist protagonist, and it’s wonderfully positive (if grossly over-simplified) portrayal of older-child adoption. I think the series should have ended on that penultimate episode, with LIz hugging her new twins.

Kudos to you, 30 Rock. You were often problematic and frustrating to watch, but when you got it right, you got it right.